A Day at the Beach
by eclipsestardust92
Summary: Winry drags Ed and Al to the beach, which leads to some amusing consequences. edited by nancystagerat, the queen of the Wicked fics!


It was hot. And blindingly sunny. Edward Elric was not happy at all. He did not like hot days. That was why Winry had dragged him and Alphonseto the beach. Ed was standing at the edge of the water, pondering whether he should jump or walk in. His close friend and auto-mail mechanic, Winry, made the decision for him: neither. She pushed him in. His arms flailed wildly as he tried to keep his balance, teetering around on the tips of his toes. Eventually, he fell in. His auto-mail caused him to sink,and made him thrash wildly to get back to the surface. Finally, his blond head bobbed back up.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled at the girl standing there laughing at him,face as red as his swim trunks.

"Isn't your auto-mail gonna get rusted?" Winry said snidely, hoping he'd forgotten that she had made it waterproof for him this time. She wanted towatch him scramble out of the water like a wet cat.

"No. You treated it to be waterproof, in case you forgot!" He gave her a smug ha-ha-you-can't-fool-me smile, which slightly infuriated the blonde mechanic.

"Dammit!" Winrymuttered under her breath. She'd been so looking forward to watching his mad dash from the water. Still, Ed clambered out anyway, just not as amusingly as she had hoped. He quickly changed his auto-mail arm intoa sword blade and calmly walked over to Winry's bright orange towel. He stood over it for about five seconds, grinning like a rabid cougar (an abnormally _short_ rabid cougar), and sliced it to shreds. Winry's mouth dropped open. She walked over, mouth still gaping like a shocked fish, fists clenched. Ed turned to face her, all smiley-like. Apparently, he didn't notice her clenched fists. Winry pulled back her arm and punched him across the face.

"What the hell was that for! You freakin' loser! I'm gonna get you!" Ed screeched. Winry quick grabbed her wrench from her orange bag (she alwayskept her tools with her, just in case that nasty little incident withAlphonse and the pelican happened again) and hid behind Al, who had been minding his own business watching a couple of crabs scuttlingnear him at the edge of the water.

"You wouldn't hurt Al now, would you?" She ducked behind the massive suit of armor that was Ed's little brother.

"In case you forgot, Al doesn't feel pain. But I'll hurt you instead!"

The two kept at it for another twenty minutes, scampering around and dodging each other like five year olds until Al picked up Ed by the head with his index finger and thumb. "Both of you stop it. Unless you want dents in your head." Al said, slightly annoyed that he'd had to abandon the crabs, who were now nowhere to be seen.

"Get off my head! NOW!" Ed screeched at his brother.

"Nyah, nyah!" Winry said tauntingly. She looked up at Edward's red face.

"You can drop him whenever you're ready, Al." she said with a sly smile.

"YOU STUPID IDIOT! AL, PUT ME DOWN! WINRY, TELL HIM TO PUT ME DOWN!" Ed screeched, but Winry just walked toward the water and dived in. A moment later her blond head popped up. She waggled her fingers at Ed, grinning like a mad scientist, and dove back underwater. Two minutes later, she was out of the water and back by Al. She held up a very surly-looking crab with a nasty little smile on her face. Ed looked back at her with pleading eyes. She walked over so that she was right under Ed's dangling feet, gently opened the crab's claws and stuck the thingon Ed's toe.

"YEOW!" he yelped. He swung his feet around like mad, which seemed only to make thecrab angrier. He continued to flap his legs around, since no one seemed about to come and pull the creature off his toe, until the nasty little thing flew off and back into the water. When Al dropped him, Ed could only stand on his auto-mail foot. He hopped over to his beach chair, sat down and examined his big toe. "What the _hell_ was that for?" he whined.

"Well, you sliced my towel… so I got back at you. Now we're even. Agreed?"

"Agreed…I guess," he mumbled.

"YOU GUESS? WHADDAYA MEAN '_YOU GUESS_'!" she screeched.

"Sheesh. It was a towel, not a five hundred dollar pair of shoes."

"You know what? I'm tired. We're goin' home," said Al.

"Fine." Ed and Winry said at the same time. "Wait, can you even get tired?"

"Well, I'm tired of the two of your bickering."

"That was cold, little brother."

Al grinned. At least, he would have, had he possessed a pair of lips.

They all went home, Ed limping after his brother and his mechanic…. Well, 'back home' to Central, anyway.

"What happened to _you_?" Colonel Roy Mustang said with a sneer. He too, was an alchemist.The Flame Alchemist. He loved to taunt Ed. It was the perfect hobby for him; it both kept him occupied and his massive ego inflated. "What the hell did you step on? It looks like you had Lieutenant Hawkeye surgically attach a tomato to your foot, Fullmetal."

Ed glanced down at his red flip-flop clad feet then murderously back (_up_) at Roy. He hated to admit it, but it really _did_ look like there was a tomato stuck to his foot.

"Shut up."

"I stuck a crab on his toe," Winry said matter-of-factly. "It was so funny! You should have seen it! His feet were flapping all over the place!"

"All of this was happening as Al was holding me in the air by my head. It was the _worst_ trip to the beach. EVER." Ed said through clenched teeth. "Remind me never to go to the beach with you again Winry, okay? Okay. You are such a nuisance!"

"It's not my fault you sliced my towel."

"Yes it is! You pushed me in the water!"

"Both of you, KNOCK IT OFF!" Al boomed. No one ever heard him yell that loud before. Ever. It was a big step for him. The corridor went terrifyingly silent. Ed stared at Al with wide eyes.

"Wow Al. I've never heard you yell like that before. It was pretty freaky." Ed said, looking a bit astonished. The rest of the them stood there in shock.

"It _was_ really freaky, Al. Don't do it again." Hawkeye said as she walked by all of them.

"Where did you come from? Materialize out of thin air or something?" Roy asked, looking confused.

"No, sir. I came out ofthe office, you psycho. Are you daft, blind, or both?" she commented blanky as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

"I will not say a word. I will hold back. Or at least try to anyway." Ed said with a smirk beforehe gave upand promptly fell over laughing.

"Okay, okay. It's not that funny. Now shut up already, FullmetalIdiot," Roy said.

"Make me, loser." Ed said as he flashed his golden eyes at the self-important colonel.

"Okay, Fullmetal. Let's make a bet. You, me, outside. Alchemy only. Whoever wins is the other's towel boy for the summer. Deal?" Roy said with a sneer.

"You're on!" Edreplied, a confident smirk playing over his face.

"I hope this isn't a flashback of the last time." said Riza, smacking her hand to her forehead.

"I bet ten on Roy." Winry said to Riza while staring at the two alchemists running down the corridor.

"Damn! You only bet on Roy because you know he's going towin!" Riza groused.

"You guys have no confidence in Ed. None whatsoever, do you?" Al said, shaking his head and sounding disappointed in the two of them.

"No, we really don't." Winry quipped, a deceptively innocent smile spreading across her face.

"You people are so mean," Al said in disgust. He waited a few moments, pondering what he should do. "What the heck, I'll bet on Roy too. I mean, c'mon, we all know he _is_gonna win."

"Wow, I've never seen this side of you before, Al. But I like it!" Winry said happily.

"Not fair! It's two against one!" Riza griped.

"It would've been two against one anyway." Winry said in a way that sounded a little bit snobby. "Anyway, we gotta go watch Ed get beat up and pretend to cheer him on."

In the little arena/parking-lot thingie, halfthe blacktopwas already burned and torn up. Roy was standing on one side, arms folded. On the other side was Ed, who was panting like a puny blonde dog. Only he wasn't drooling like one.

"Ed's good and gone. He only pants like that when he knows he's done for." Al said. As soon as the statement had left his mouth, poor Ed fell over backwards.

"Okay, Lieutenant, show me the money! Well actually, show _us _the money because Al bet too!" Winry was now ten bucks richer. And so was Al.

"Okay. But next time they fight_ I _get to bet on Roy. You two can have Ed." Riza said as she reluctantly dug into her pocket. Winry stood there looking all happy and smug. Her hand was already out and waiting for her cash.The Lieutenantdropped the bills intoWinry's outstretched hand. Winry split the bills with Al and counted them. Just to make sure Riza didn't skimp.

"All here. How 'bout you Al?" she asked.

"Yup. I feel a little richer now. My life is one step closer to being complete. Now all I need is a cat."

"Ed would never let you get a cat, you know that, right? You would be dead as a doornail." Winry said with a frown. "Even though it's kinda not fair."

"I know, I know. He just makes me so mad sometimes. I WANT A KITTEN, DARNIT!" Al yelled quite loudly. Everyone turned to stare at him. Crickets sounded in the background.

"Okay, then………" Winry said, looking just as surprised as she sounded.

Anyway, back to Ed and Roy.

"I want a rematch!" Ed complained. "I _so_ would've won if it weren't for that -"

"Fine. But let's change the bet. If I win, you have to go back to the beach and relive all of those horrible moments while I recline in a lounge chair and laugh maniacally at your sorry plight. If you win, I'll relive the moments instead. Deal?" Roy asked.

"You're on, mister!" Ed yelled, punching his fist in the air.

"One thing before we start, DON'T _EVER_ CALL ME MISTER!" Roy shouted. He thought 'mister' made him sound old.

"Okay, okay. Jeez." Ed sighed, rolling his eyes. "Touchy, aren't we?"

Their little fight lasted about a half an hour before Roy, in a fit of prematurely triumphant glee, burned himself on the arm and broke his concentration.

"Dammit!" he mumbled under his breath.

Riza also mumbled 'dammit' because she lost her bet again. She forked over another twenty bucks to Winry. Winry and Al were now _twenty _bucks richer.

"Now I can buy that new pair of shoes I wanted! Yippee!" she squealed.

Roy trudged over to Ed, shook his hand, and went to get his beach things.

"Remember, you're still my towel boy!" he shouted over his shoulder at Ed, grinning smugly. Shorty might have won the fight, but the Mustang still got the last laugh!


End file.
